Dear Younger Me,

You’ve lived a large part of your life feeling the need to live up to the expectations of others, and I know better than anyone, that it’s killing you. Regardless of what everyone is saying, there is no mantel for you to pick up, no legacy for you to uphold, and no expectation you’re duty-bound to meet. 

When people say, “your father would have been proud of you” or “I know he’s watching”, they don’t know the weight they’re putting on you, but I do. They think it helps. They think that perhaps if you knew he was proud, you would be able to see yourself the same way. 

They don’t realize that you face your brokenness in more ways than they could ever know. They don’t realize that the one thing you’ve always wanted, and never been able to obtain is the assurance that yes, he’s proud of you, but more than that, you actually deserve him to be. That if he knew or if they all knew the real you, your thoughts, feelings and desires, they would not love you the same way. 

Let me encourage you. You do not need to live for our dad’s legacy. I know he left this world to soon but living with this burden is too heavy, lay it down. You have a purpose, a far lighter purpose and you will find it soon. 

You don’t always need to pretend you are okay

You don’t always need to pretend you are okay. It’s fine to be who you are, mishaps, messes, and mistakes included. Your story is your story, and it was written this way for a reason. 

You have a Father who has never left you, and He’s waiting for you to come home. Not so that He can mend you, though there’s certainly some mending to be done, but so that He can celebrate a son who is finally able to come back to life. A son who was lost and will be found. You will be found. After so much hiding, I can tell you with all confidence, it is so good to be found.

He can mend you

You have been on the fence for a while now. You know you have a choice to make. The sooner you make it the easier it will be. 

You will have to leave everything behind and it’s going to hurt. There are two paths before you, one leads to a love that lasts, and the other to a life of lust that will not satisfy. 

I am reminded of what Jesus says “if you lose your life for my sake you will find it.” We have to be willing to lay down our desires before we can experience the new resurrected life. 

I’ll leave you with a question. Are you ready to lay down your life? And if so, are you ready, finally ready, to live?

Keifer