Letters to My Younger Self: Laurence
Dear Laurence,
It may only seem like days to you but at this point, July 2005 is a fair few clicks away. I mention this date because as you know, it was a pivotal moment in our life to begin to understand God's will for us. God moved you from what you wanted to what He was asking and I remember the excitement and the gravitas of that moment. Just awesome!
What I hadn't bargained on was the journey of reform and growth that we would go on. One of the biggest realities for you will be learning about the truth of self-differentiation. You have a great heart for people and whilst this is definitely a plus in all of life, it means you are lining up for some struggles.
Jump forward with me to the murky waters of complicated and emotional situations that will occur in life and ministry. Knowing you well, you will probably take things onboard too much. When 'bod A' refuses to acknowledge your contributions or undermine you, I want you to stop, take a deep breath and repeat this phrase, "their limitation is not part of me". Say it a few times over until you feel calm and then analyse the situation.
I can tell you, having learnt the hard way, having carried far more than I ever should have, it can be tough. There may come a moment when you look back and realise the damage you accepted on behalf of others and feel it twinge in your gut.
BUT, you've got to know that if you can embrace the truth that you are not absorbed in the limitations, aggravations, power games or dysfunctions in others, you don't need to face the twinges. Instead, you will pray when you sense another person finding their limits, you will bless when others try to undermine you and you will go on holiday calm and secure in the knowledge that others don't have to joyride on your heart.
Hear me right bro, I'm not talking about becoming fake or denying your feelings. Instead, I want to cheer you into the place of knowing yourself, placing your emotions well and gliding through mountains - rather than trying to climb them or worse, climb someone else's mountain!
I hope you don't mind my directness, it isn't to judge, but there is too much joy at stake to lose yourself in the margins of self-differentiation. Reign them in tight and make them smooth. Pray for those who want to make their troubles yours, but bless them as you leave them on the doorstep. Inside your house is the fulfilment of that calling that God gave you back In July 2005.
Love you,
Your Older Self.
Laurence
Hey, I am a Minister, married with 2 children. Life has taken me around the world and I have loved all that I have learnt in each context. I enjoy music - a lot - and have a deep passion to grow in emotional and spiritual wholeness and wellbeing; both personally and to help others.
Laurence is one of the funniest people I know, Despite what life has thrown at him, he continues to seek the best for others. A big thank you for this contribution mate!
Dear reader,
What is the one thing you would tell your younger self? - Let us know in the comments section.”
Nathan L. McGuire
